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Smitty West: Music

Lady Of The Aisle

(Smitty West)
Lady Of The Aisle
2006

Its too far to walk.
Its too far to drive.
But Id like to get there
While Im still alive
So Im crammed into this silver can
With screaming baby hollers.
I wanna put myself to sleep.
But a damn beer cost $5.

Im full, upright and locked right here.
In case you want to see.
Flying at the speed of sound,
Strapped down in 18B.
Five miles high and falling fast in love with your sweet smile.
Sit back, relax, enjoy the ride.
My Lady of the Aisle.

Rolling down the runway,
You appear next to my row.
Hazel eyes. Perfect smile.
Your golden hair just so.
Would you like some leg room, sir?
Ive a better seat for you.
She guides me through the curtain to
My new seat in row 2.

Im full, upright and locked right here.
In case you want to see.
Flying at the speed of sound,
Now kicked back in 2D.
Come collect my service items.
Stop and chat awhile.
Sit back, relax, enjoy the ride.
My Lady of the Aisle.

Low and snug across your hips.
Maybe you might show me, dear?
Ive reached my cruising altitude.
Its open bar up here.
Can we share a holding pattern?
My seat goes back real low.
My radars blippin really fastI wanted you to know.

Im full, upright and locked right here.
In case you want to see.
Give myself a little pinch.
This aint no fantasy.
My baggage, Ive all left behind
Im traveling now in style.
Sit back, relax, enjoy the ride.
My Lady of the Aisle.

You brush past me, it must be love.
I shiver with delight.
I follow you behind the door.
Its sure my lucky night.
Whats this? Youre in the arms of some damn flyboy dressed in blue!
One day Im gonna get my wings
And Ill be coming back for you!

Im full, upright and locked right here.
In case you want to see.
But now I know I aint the guy
Its someone else not me.
My hats off to you, Capitan
Youre smooth and youre virile.
Sit back, relax, enjoy the ride with
My Lady of the Aisle.

I spent a big hunk of my life doing the corporate thing, riding around in too many airplanes to go to too many meetings.

I always felt a little sorry for the flight attendants, who have to perform the same thankless shtick countless times for a bunch of bored sardines. I tried to pay attention to their announcements, and I got to where I could say it all in my sleep.

Please return your seat backs and tray tables to their full, upright, and locked positions was one of my favorites. Who would ever say that anywhere else in the world? We will come about the cabin to collect your service items? The only place they have service items is on airplanes.

Well, mix it all with a couple Margaritas and the flight attendantmy Lady of the Aislestarts to look mighty fine. Hence this reggae fantasy about love found and lost on a tropical aisle.

Thanks again to Julija Zonic for the fun backup vocals that bring this song to life. And yes, there are no more words in the English language that rhyme with aisle, so the song had to finally end.